Date:	2007-09-28 14:21
Subject:	circles of learning
Security:	Public
Mood:	discontent

life seems overplayed
out weighed, way over traded

my mind twist n turns
through the circles it burns and learns

time seems repetitive
take another setitive, and just let it live

go through the motion
and let the notion release to the ocean

infinite brain capacity
but we cant seem to see, past the last need

round n round
the circles are found, but only for now

because the circle you see
soon becomes the need, and starts to breed

a cicle, looking at a circle, looking at a circle

Ive found the the summertime tends to be a crazy time of the year.. the summers are always a time to rember. Crazy shit happens and it seems like each summer gets crazier and crazier. This summer was so crazy. Its filled with memories of

Fontana hall and rolling there. Moving the room on the weekends so that we could chill out there the whole time.. walking down to the bull market or the greenery as we called it. Sitting on the 12th story balcony and going on the roof. smoking on the balcony. opening the windows on the 12 floor and looking out. the trippy green arrow bathrooms. Waiting in the elevator. or waiting for the elevator. parking passes. the red dragon. standing on a chair. smoking the hooka. the strobe light. hugs. laughing. the star glasses. glowsticks. shoestrings. bright lights. trippy tales. the whole in the ground that had the man living in it. the table and seats out by the parkinglot that we lost our minds at. mikes room, where we found them. and lost them again. my car. loud music. techno at night. techno in the morning. techno in the middle of the day. techno? songs that took us away. people who changed the way we saw the world. Lunatic and all he taught us. and all the people i met through him.

Avalon and living with Travis. Sitting on the 5th story balcony. the Roar. my cot. the one broke ass speaker we listened to music on. the double couches. and pushing them together. blue dolphins. green apples. white horses. blue mercedes. blue RBs. Yellow exclamation marks. orange dolphins. blue unknowns. white #1s. Yellow X Files. Green Music notes. Red Teddy Bears. Angel blotter. Crutons.

New Tampa. Sara. Pink rooms. laying in bed. listening to techno. haning out with "the circle". Justin and Anastasia's. the beach. laying out by the pool. myspace. tampa palms club house. staying up for days. texting during the day. 42nd street. walking around. pebble creek. cross creek. tampa palms. compton place. BRUCE B DOWNES. wharton. freedom. montichello. zenetti's. taco bell/gas station. Smoothie King. dropping sara at the tanning bed. the mall. sara's "had to have" godiva drink. driving in my car. my car alarm always going off. using ur hairtye for my roll. sara's green eyes. philie's. sara's morning L's. and morning traffic. talks with Travis. finger lights. back patio. stasia's front porch. stasia's 2 hour closet visit. the crew at compton place. taking sara to dacco (DT's) haha.

i gotta be different... i have to stick out... i want to be remembered... i think that is my biggest fear.. to live and die and not make an impression.. not be rembered.. just lost in time.. what did they do b4 written history? well i guess its been around a long time. I mean even cavemen wrote down what they saw n did.. but what were they thinking when they did it? Were they just trying to show something to another, or were they thinking about the past..thinking about things they saw trying to remember them.Well either way they are still thinking about there past. But what was the purpose for the drawing, what caused them to write it down. i need to be remembered.. hahahaha

Date:	2005-11-22 10:51
Subject:	Welcome Back
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	RJD2-Ghostrider

Wow so i kinda forgot about livejournal. This thing holds just a little story, a little look into my past. Its full of memories that i had forgotten, and details stories i just barley rember. It reminds me of who i was, and who ive turned out to be. Its good to remind yourself of your past, so that you can better plan for the future. Today is a new day. Welcome Back.

We all live our lives and try and try
To do everything we can anything to get by
WE make money and spend it just as fast
We meet people and hope our relationships will last
We go to school and work and somelearn
And others go just so they can earn
But everyday that goes by we all learn somthing
Through the good and the bad nobody does nothing

to be continued...

Date:	2005-01-02 16:17
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	but content
Music:	ATB

2005 a new year. I shall take this as the initiative to start new things and changes the bad attributes i have in my life. I want to better design the world enconfrencing me to suit my niche.

"To be different is to be unique, and to be unique is to be like nothing else." ~NickP

You dont call me,
Except when your alone.
You dont think about me,
Except when your alone.
But do you dream about me,
When your not alone?

I think about you all the time.
Because you are you and not mine.
You tend to give me hope and future.
but you arent.

Date:	2004-10-29 13:17
Subject:	Thanks
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	Limp Bizkit

Shout out to all my boyz!! You know who you are......
~Fatboyz
~Hahn
~Holla at ur boy
~Team Krypt
... and the rest

-Gravity Bong-Laughter-Optomistic feelings-Kissing-Work-Work-Work-Moms Car-Ebay-Satisfaction-Happieness-Loved-Running-Working out-Shopping-Orange and Brown-

Go Bengals!

Date:	2004-10-26 00:49
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	Bob Marley- Stir it up~ yes

New girl. Marias out. "Now were even." Great kisser. Signing up for fire/emt class in january. "I wanna be a fire ranger."

This ones for you travis..

I don't practice Santeria
I ain't got no crystal ball
Well I had a million dollars but I, I'd spend it all
If I could find that heina and that sancho that she'd found
~Sublime

Date:	2004-10-13 00:04
Subject:	mike
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	Maroon 5- She will be loved

Window to the universe
Island universe
Indians or Columbus
Rigged elections
Facist leader
Conspiricy government
Nazi Government
Iperialist qualities

did i miss anything?

Good day... no reason

Date:	2004-10-12 00:16
Subject:	Reflections
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	techno

I tend to look back on things in the past and find very positive things. Although not nessicarilly on good terms right now, the time i spent with ash, mike, and travis was quite a memorable experience and i am thnkful to all three of them for the good times we shared. Whenever i see i picture of travis i look back on the time i spent living with him, and it kinda makes me smile. Travis is/was literally the closest thing i guess ive had to a brother. Someone that i live with and gets on my nerves but in the end is just such a damn good friend and somone that i really know and wouldnt want to loose(although at some points i may have thought otherwords).



Poem in thought.

A thought floats by
I do everything and try
To get it down on print
So its beauty is kept in mint
Condition that is, so you can see
In all clearity how things must be
When your quick to grab a thought
With all its splendor will be brought
This is the thought that i just wrote
Floating in my brain like a sticky note.

So the rooster turns and looks at me and says, wake up.
Im not asleep, i respond then in realizing that a rooster is telling me to wake up?
But then the rooster is gone and i was left.
I walked downstairs in a place that i live in.
A place i walked through the place i slept in.

Date:	2004-09-24 13:27
Subject:	Dreamin
Security:	Public
Mood:	rejuvenated
Music:	the Dorrs- Riders on the storm

This dream i had last night. Sorry but i typed it in im first and i didnt feel like re-typing it.

TampaPalms35: check this
TampaPalms35: so im walkin around party city i guess i was at work
TampaPalms35: but it didnt feel like party city felt more like a walmart
TampaPalms35: anyways so im walkin around with some girl i work with and i have this gun that everyone had kinda been playin with
TampaPalms35: but its broken
TampaPalms35: right?
TampaPalms35: gun doesnt work... but its loaded
TampaPalms35: so im playin around pullin the trigger but nothings happening
TampaPalms35: so i take it and i put it to my head
TampaPalms35: and pull the trigger and it goes off
TampaPalms35: and i feel it go off, i feel the bullet go into my head
TampaPalms35: and then i feel pain in y head and a weird numbing sensation as i start to fall to the ground
TampaPalms35: and im looking at this girl i was talking to the whole time
TampaPalms35: and she just has this look of fright on her face
TampaPalms35: so i fall on the ground and i cant really move
TampaPalms35: but my head feels wet
TampaPalms35: and i pass out

When i wake up (in my dream) i was really suprised to see that i was still alive. I thought that i was dead. I think i was in a hospital. It didnt really looks like one but i was layin in a bed and there was a doctor there. He started to tell me that the way the gun was fired it went in the side of my head and came out the back. so it didnt really hit any really vital parts. I guess? I just rembered having a really bad headache and losing partial vision in my left eye. Weird stuff.

Spending the night at mikes worked today. Met a couple new people. Work went by pretty easy. Cept i was scheduled to work 11-4 and i showed up at 4 for work? I never have worked 11-4 and thats now what it said when i checked the schedule like 2 days ago.

Date:	2004-09-21 13:15
Subject:	and i dont rember why i came..
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	godsmack- bad religion

Aight work today at 3. Thinking about stoppin the refer for the rest of the week. I really want to get focused on running and lifting more. Id really like to take this break in school to use for productive things that will aid me once school starts.
ive said it once ill say it again....
girls suck

peace love and happieness,
FFFL

I once used to write to the girl i felt so much for.
I loved exploring my feelings and so much more.

She made me want to be a better person, she was inspiration.
The poems i wrote were so true, deep in contemplation.

Then i stopped, my feelings changed, i got confused.
Im not sure what that was or what love is, i just hope that its all not missused.

All that time i spent thinking about her and me.
I hope thats all that she would see.

We still search for that dream, its so much nicer in the past.
I just want a good trusting relationship that will last.

Who the fuck do you think you are?
Or who you trying to be?
Do you really know who you are?
Becuase alot of us cant see

The things we really know and trust
The people who are true
The feelings we feel
everthing is love and lust.

Why are these things the way they are?
Maybe my minds clouded.
By the things i cant see.
Its like its all a star

Only seen without light
Without detail and story
No shape no size
But still in my mind shines so bright

I smoke 2 joints in the morning....
I smoke 2 joints at night....

I smoke 2 joints in the afternoon....
It makes me feel alright....

I smoke 2 joints in time of peace...
I smoke 2 joints in time of war...
I smoke 2 joints before i smoke 2 joints...
And then i smoke 2 more....